For those of you who are around and KNOW what I am going through understand my pain.. for those of who you don't and/or think you do but really don't you just want to have attention on yourself don't bother reading then trying to make your shit out to be worse, I am not in the modd to entertain your neediness!! The past couple of weeks at night have been hell, my hips are in so much pain when the morning comes I feel like someone took a baseball bat to my hips with no mercy :( I am at the point in my pregnancy with Ailynne that this is going to happen along with many other things that I have no control over and there's nothing that can be done about it. Ekko has been waking up for whatever reason she has every night between 1a-5a ... and does she try and go wake up daddy so mommy can attempt to rest?? NO!! She comes and wakes me up then doesn't let me go back to sleep cause between her and having to pee I am up most of the night and am not able to get back to sleep until a little before John's alarm goes off in the morning :( I hurt so much in the morning I can barely move, but do I get to rest?? NO because I have an almost 4yr to take care of so I can't just go back to sleep.. can I take a nap?? NO because Ekko is apparently allergic to sleeping :( The funny thing is I am so miserable now and sleep deprived but for no good reason :( If they would just induce me now so I can have my new baby girl then there would be a reason to make me sleep deprived but do they give a shit but how I feel or what my poor body is going through?? NO!!!
I am sorry if it seems like I am bitching a lot here and I am.. but damn it I am tired of getting around people and them saying well you look fine to me, or how do you hurt so bad you're moving around just fine.. Yes I am because come the afternoon it doesn't hurt so bad and I can move better.. and plus I try not to let people see me in pain cause then they worry or treat me like I am a fragile person.. which I am not, this pregnancy is the complete opposite from Ekko's and it has done so much to me that at the same time I am kind of glad the doc thinks this should be my last baby :( I have been so blessed to have them both in my life and wouldn't trade them for anything.. but damn if I don't seriously have something done soon about all this pain and exhaustion I am going to collapse.. I can't complain to John because it's useless.. what can he do?? He works, so I am left to do everything no matter how I feel :( I have already told him though this weekend he can get up with her if I have to wake him up to go take care of her.. because if I don't get some sleep soon I am going to scream :(
On a Happy note 12 days till I get induce and finally get to meet my new baby girl Ailynne Rose!!! I am excited and nervous all in one :) It's been interesting being pregnant with her.. she has been way more active than Ekko was :) and fun to play with lol.. Although she's getting so big that when she moves I move lol I still think it's been fun for the most part.. set aside the bad side effects.. I have seen her through many different stages of developement in my tummy through US's and can't wait to see her chubby cheeks in person :)
To all of my friends that have put up with me this whole time, I want to Thank You!! Especially to those who have FULLY experienced how I feel and relate :) I have been blessed with such great friends over the past few years and love ewach and every one of you :-*
I really do feel your pain. At least the hip pain and back pain. :( it's horrible. You know what i do. I try to just sleep through it during the day. Which isn't good bc i waste the day. But i get the same comments. Well you look fine, you're walking fine, but i'm the same way, i don't want people to see me in pain. I'm really sorry Ekko is doing this. I wish i had some advice for you. But what i would do is wake Matthew up and make him get up. What you're doing this weekend, going to make John get up and deal with it is probably the best thing. Honey just keep doing your best and try not to stress. I love you honey!
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